Yesterday was such a complete and utter disaster I'm not even sure where to start. I guess I'll first say, the chance of posting something last night was totally out of the question because I was laid up on the sofa with a pounding headache. Why, you might ask?? I'll get to that in one second. That would, of course, be calamity number 3. But first, let's run down the list in proper order.
1) Ah yes, calamity number 1. Yesterday was going to be a fun filled day. It was complete with lots of outings both new and old and the Monkey was going to be worn out and nap like a champ. That was the plan. And I will say, the Monkey held up her part of the bargain, no problem. I, on the other hand, did not. After a great morning nap (60 minutes) and a nice run, the Monkey, Gramma Judy and I were going to walk to Elizabeth Creamery for some ice cream. It's exactly 1.5 miles from the house and so off we went. We arrived around noon to find - once again (since this is my new trend) - a closed ice cream shop. At this point, nothing surprises me with closed outing locations. We went to ImaginOn on a Monday recently - CLOSED due to new summer hours. We go to "PYO" farm - CLOSED due to inept farmers who choose to close whenever they feel like it. And we arrive at Elizabeth Creamery - CLOSED - doesn't open on Monday's until 1pm. Lord. The only thing going for me at this point is the fact that Eloise is 13 months old and doesn't realize that she just got sandbagged on her ice cream outing. It was hot, the 3 of us were sweaty and the freaking ice cream store is closed. Unreal.
2) Calamity number 2. We get back home and it's time for the next Monkey nap - which was also a rock star nap of exactly 100 minutes - THANK YOU, Miss Monkey!! - and while she's sleeping, I receive a call from the Public Library of Mecklenburg County. Huh, that's interesting. I'll admit to you right now, I hesitated even putting this next calamity up on the blog. It's pretty embarrassing but since I've opened up the airwaves to basically "all things Eloise" that means I can't start changing history (like we're Russians or something) just because something happened that I'm not all that proud of.
Ok, what did the Library employee have to say? That "we are being fined for 'several books' that were returned to the library because they had chewed corners. They can no longer go back into circulation and we are going to be charged $5 per book." Are you serious??? Come on. This was all left via vm. I didn't recognize the number so I didn't pick it up. Well as soon as I got this message I called back immediately to the number she left. Here's where I stand - and what I'm going to say if anyone at the library would ever pick up the phone....."You're right. We're guilty. There's certainly a chance that my daughter put public property into her mouth. I try my best to keep a watchful eye on her oral fixation but sometimes I miss things and therefore, I'm not surprised that some of your books had to pay the price with some baby chewing. But that said, we took out 30 books and some were in pretty rough shape to begin with so please take this into consideration when you are tallying up my fine."
But as I said, I tried to call several times. And not only was I not getting a live person, I couldn't even get an answering machine because the number was busy for hours. What is the deal??? Well, then it finally dawns on me that the freaking library is closed on Mondays - hence last week's trip to ImaginOn and their new "Summer Hours." But someone called me from somewhere so why is it that they left me a phone number to call back when it's busy and when they are supposedly not even working? I finally throw in the towel on the phone option and I decide to lob in an email to an anonymous email box from their web site. Of course no real email addresses are listed for actual real people from their web site. Just a "Hey, send us an email. We'd love to hear from you!" email box. Fine. You're gonna hear from me.
My email said something like I typed above. "We're sorry. We'll certainly pay our debt to society for my menace-book-eating-child but please take into consideration that the library books we're pretty banged up to begin with, yada yada yada." I had no preconceived notion that this email would actually be read and responded to but to my surprise, I heard from the Circulation Mgr. this morning. And he was really nice. But get this - he has no record of my daughter eating his books anywhere in the system. Um......you called me! Great - at this point, I'm confessing to a crime they aren't even aware happened. Or at least he's not. Anyway, he's going to look into it. He completely understands that sometimes things happen and that he appreciated me taking some responsibility and he'll get back to me. Ok, thanks.
Now let's get down to brass tacks here. I let my daughter chew on public library books. Could anything be nastier?? What's next?? A public toilet?? Now I'm not trying to be hard on myself. Obviously I don't think I'm a bad mom. I may joke that DSS needs to be called from time to time but all in all, I feel like I'm doing my best with Eloise. And by doing my best, I'll have to admit, that means I'm not 100% "on-it" all day, every day. And sadly, that also means that sometimes things get into her mouth that I would rather didn't. This list also includes dirt, mulch, sticks and the like. To say she's extremely oral would be the understatement of the year. You know it's bad when you see your daughter's hand reach for something and her mouth opens at the same time. Yes, that really happens. 100% of the time.
I spend all day every day saying, "Out of your mouth. Out of your mouth. Do not put that in your mouth. Rocks do not go in your mouth. Do not put that stick in your mouth. Out of your mouth. Out of your mouth." It's non-stop and it's what I do. It's starting to sink it but it's a work in progress that I don't see stopping anytime in the near future. She knows not to chew on books but obviously it's something she enjoys. She also knows that sticks, rocks, dirt, mulch, her crib and much, much more do not belong in her mouth but she's 13 months old. And "Curiosity is King" right now. Honestly, I don't think she can help it. So I'll continue with my constant encouragement (or rather demands) to keep things out of her mouth at which point I will get the same reaction I always get, which is.....I say, "Do not put that rock in your mouth." She stares at me. The rock goes into her mouth. She continues staring at me.I say, "out of the mouth. Get that out of your mouth." And then it comes out of the mouth. She's driven. She must get that lick in there or else. And therefore she does. And so as I continue my quest, and so does she. And sadly this time, library books were the sitting target.
3) Now onto calamity number 3. I'm listing these in order of how things went down yesterday since it technically should have been called "Menace Monday." Last night when Mike got home from work, our plan was to suit the Monkey up in her bike helmet and give the bike trailer we're borrowing a test drive. This will be her first voyage in the bike trailer and so per usual, I'm geared up and ready to go to make this the most exciting outing ever and of course, the best bike ride this little girl will ever have. We all suit up with our helmets, we get the Monkey into the trailer, who at this point is screaming her fool head off because she hates the helmet (not surprised) and we're off. She was a little skeptical at first. Certainly not pleased with the helmet but sort of enjoying the ride. Well then the darn helmet kept sliding down and covering her eyes. So we'd stop, adjust the helmet and take off again. Repeat, repeat. After the 3rd stop Mike and I are talking about some ideas of what we can do to prevent the helmet shift. It fits her perfectly so it's not that. Rather, it's the soft seat the kiddos sit in with bike trailers that is causing her to slide down a little and thus, pushing the helmet up in the back and down over her eyes. I don't blame her for fussing. She can't see anything! So we get going again. I'm trying to brainstorm a loud of what we can do to the seat and all of a sudden my bike handle clips a trash recycle bin that's sitting on the side of the road and I literally go flying off the bike. Yes, picture it. I was completely flat out crash victim on the road because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, was looking at the Monkey and talking instead, and thus clipped my handle and boom, up over the handle bars I go and SPLAT....on the ground. Unreal. Yes, I'm fine. I'm a little banged up with some scrapes on my hands, hip, elbow and shoulder but I will tell you - THANK GOD I had my helmet on. I seriously cracked my head on the ground but because I had my helmet on, I was completely fine. I had a headache for the rest of the night but nothing an Aleve couldn't fix. Honestly though, I really hit my head on the ground pretty hard and we were barely moving. Like we had just taken off and were going like maybe 1/25th of a mph. I had maybe gotten in one pedal and then boom, clip the garbage can, and whammy, I'm lying on the ground. So you guessed it, here's my public service announcement, if you ride a bike, you HAVE to put on your helmet. I don't care how far or fast or slow you are going. Do it. I'm not kidding, I would have been in the hospital last night with my head split open if I didn't have my helmet on. Wear your helmet. Do it!
Ok, so off of my helmet high horse - let's get back down to it here. I'm trying to make a huge hay day out of the biking adventure. We want the Monkey to love the bike trailer. Both of us are hooting and hollering and trying to have tons of fun so the Monkey decides, yeah - this is kind of fun. I like bike rides! .....and then SPLAT, she witnesses her mother - complete bike crash victim - go flying off of her bike and down on the road like a sack of potatoes. I have to say, the entire scene was straight out of a movie - go figure - and was completely hilarious. I mean who else would this happen too?? And yes, you can laugh. It was that ridiculous.
Anyway, we get back to the house after "the recycle bin incident" (we were maybe 2 blocks away) and we see the neighbors who are letting us borrow the trailer. They say the bike store guy who sold them the trailer said kids don't need helmets in there. I'm going to be honest, no helmet freaks me out - especially after I literally just bounced my brain off of Hanover Street. I believe that he's right in that the trailer isn't going anywhere and it's really sturdy and stable so if Mike was to fall off of his bike, that trailer will stay put but god forbid the trailer was clipped by a car???? Would that helmet help her?? I don't know. I have to think yes. Agh. All of these outings and activities we're taking her on. Are we sure we want to do this?? I realize I can't keep her in a bubble but am I putting her in harm's way just because we selfishly want a baby who enjoys bike rides??? And yes, it doesn't help the cause that I crashed. And the helmet seriously saved me from a hospital visit. But alright, let's try it. Let's take her helmet off and see. So we did and as you can predict, she liked the trailer much better. But I'm torn really. It's scary to me to have her out there without a helmet on. We're going to give the trailer another try again tonight when Mike gets home. I want to do it with the helmet first and see if I can't sit her in there in a way where it won't shift on her head. And if that doesn't work, we'll try it with no helmet. Again, that kind of freaks me out. It's not like we're going to be riding on the highway or busy streets but you know how drivers are. They're crazy. They're on the phone, they're texting and anything can happen anywhere and if something were to happen to Eloise because I put her in harm's way, I'm not sure I could ever forgive myself. Ok, enough on this. I can't think this way.
The trailer is awesome and I do hope she loves it. We're so glad we get to give one a trial run with our neighbors before buying one. They can get kind of pricey so we wanted to really make sure she'd enjoy it before we decided to shell out some cash. Fingers crossed on tonight's trek.
And as you can expect, here are some biker trailer pics from last night....I'll start from the beginning.
0 comments:
Post a Comment